Shark Punching

By Tammy Derouin

Life is demanding, extremely difficult and is far from fair. How we are taught or encouraged to deal with difficult situations, beginning at a young age, determines how we adapt, accept and handle the situations which come our way.

We've all watched toddlers topple over or bump into something. How you respond is very important because they will usually mimic your reaction. If you look concerned or worried, their little questioning frown will get much deeper and may turn into unnecessary wailing. But, if you make light of it, they recover much quicker. Shaking it off with a smile encourages them to shake it off with a smile. They've just learned that a little boo boo doesn't have to be a show stopper and disappointment doesn't mean the world is coming to an end.

Children need to be encouraged to pick themselves up, brush themselves off and start all over again. As adults, we know life is a never ending challenge. We will fall, have many setbacks and endure many hardships during the course of our life. Picking yourself up after a setback and learning how to brush off the elements which wish to cripple or destroy you is a life-long challenge. You will start over many times. The key is to never give up.

Society has done a great disservice by trying to soften every learning experience. Life is not only challenging but life hurts. Cuts and bruises remind us of prior experiences. They may cause us to pause and reevaluate our current situation to avoid future mishaps. Emotional bruises serve a purpose as well. Surviving difficult situations and understanding certain types of harmful behavior may prevent future heartache or misfortune. Scars, physical or mental, are our reminders that something went wrong. They can be used as a reference to avoid future wrong turns.

For some reason the school of hard knocks became politically incorrect over the past generation. Society decided to interfere with life's lessons in an attempt to make life easier. Being overly protective became the new normal. Wrapping a generation in bubble wrap and handing every kid a trophy to avoid hurt feelings has been a disaster. Everyone is not a winner and that's OK. Losing teaches valuable lessons. Giving everyone a trophy reduces the value of the prize. Why try harder or at all if the outcome is the same?

We, as a society and a nation, shall reap what we sow. We can either teach the kind of behavior which will encourage strength and independence or we can encourage dependency which will produce individuals who are attached to their cribs, blankets and thumbs. This past week two examples of very different realities crossed my path.

The first involved a cry closet which was installed in a university library out west. The purpose of this cry space was to help students get through finals. If students were feeling anxious or stressed out they could lock themselves in the closet for a good cry and cuddle with stuffed animals.

The second was a book called Make Your Bed written by Admiral William H. McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired). Perhaps you came across a video circulating on social media of Admiral McRaven addressing the graduating class at the University of Texas at Austin in 2014. I saw it several months ago but came across the book this past week. Admiral McRaven highlighted the ten lessons he learned from Navy SEAL training. The lessons can be applied in everyone's life.

Needless to say, I'm a fan of the philosophy which involves making your bed. Making my bed, before I left the house was instilled in me as a child. It remains to this day as one of my first daily accomplishments. You never really know what the day has in store for you. Life is full of sharks. Learning how to navigate through such situations takes years of practice. Simply knowing that sharks are out there keeps you prepared and on alert. Some sharks enjoy taunting, just to see if they can get a reaction out of you. You learn to ignore such childish behavior. Others are out to attack just because they can so they circle, waiting for the right moment.

There will be days when you have to stare down a shark. Sometimes you may even have to punch it to protect yourself from harm. At the end of every day, but certainly on days of successful shark punching, coming home to find my first accomplishment is very rewarding.

“Without courage, men will be ruled by tyrants and despots. Without courage, no great society can flourish. Without courage, the bullies of the world rise up. With it, you can accomplish any goal. With it, you can defy and defeat evil.”

Admiral William H. McRaven